‘the balled realm of duntellya’

you know the song…numb with jz…dunno why linkinpark needed jz but there is this line…wat the hell are you waiting for…well that question often comes up to mind whenever i am doing nothing…like today i was slothing at home the whole time and i dunno sometimes i feel that i am doing nothing useful with mylife yet…i mean i got this whole plan to do things but i am not started yet…have alot of plans hanging here and there and i guess i will take this break to tie all my lose ends and start afresh in uni…wat am i waiting for…?i dunno…i guess guidance…a chance to do something real and significant…i dunno it can be anything…i guess very often i m waiting too much rather than making the move, fearing wat mite happen if the plan backfires but i have learned something…you never know till you try so yeah…instead of waiting for people to change i’ll try to be the change,thats what people tell me to do…but its not easy…its really not easy…

another year has ended in fact its my final year before i step into uni…it was a grear experience here at sunway college…i mean it was dead coz it was more quiet and settled down compared to the hectic lifestyle i was having…the joy of training and fellowship with fellow church members was replaced by the anguish of waiting for something new to happen. i was back at the place i started, a place where when i left i swore i would never return to again but then it was a great experience as each step is a new lesson to be learned. my perceptions of people have changed…what seemed changeable became unchangeable and what seemed unchangeable became changeable…most of us found wat we were looking for this year i know it and for those who didnt we received something different far better, and there are those who chose to completely avoided change resisting it till it tore them in two…i was once like that unable to accept change and i’m glad and greatful to one particular family for putting my life in track.oh and yeah timmy…happy birthday!If you get to read this… its easy to accept change now coz everytime something bad or good happens something new comes with it…a priceless lesson that can onli be learned if we were roborn.

can still remember my first day when Ben walked into class like he was owning ass of the teacher and his attitude…man i tot was coll gonna be like this…but it turned out that he was one of the bestest friends i have now…i guess it was right wen people sae dont judge a book by its cover. he is a great guy you know sometimes the shit he talks makes me think alot…and yeah ben if you are reading this please know i was never bothered about the fact you smoked…i was just concerned that you mite go before i even graduate…i’ve had enough people walk in and out of my life and all but two to go just like that…then there was cute yeekhin who was with his cap…first friend my age i had in college…gonna miss the little things he speaks but always had a great impact…remember the SF yeah…then there is raj and sandish who came to me on the 1st day and made me feel at home immediately…sandish was one hellova tall guy for his age…and raj…who the hell called him a nigger…?i mean that guy is pure indian man…oh and yeah vikram(real name)…A.K.A jiayih…my favourite man wen it comes to food coz wat i love he loves and i never got a chance to rub that lucky trunk or his…gonna miss you bro…then comes aaron the everwarming friend,sam the dynamic leader who led two projects that resulted in me not havent to stress up over lan exams, kane the math genius, stan who is never satisfied with wat he gets for exams and by which had fun playing futsal with ol you guys…dun wori we’ll get a game soon…oh my God i just remembered…i m ssssssoooooooo gonna miss english class too…had the best teacher in my life i mean…Pn annyza knocked things into me in a way that i so enjoyed her class…so if any of you reading this ever get taught by her dun sulk coz she’s loud…she’s the best and you’ll love her…i assure you…choon choon…what a choon name rite…gonna miss you too…hey just wanted you to know the other thing you were asking me…it worked out…and i wanna thank you again…you words meant alot to me that day you know…iggy…you better take care too man…this is the guy who can caome up to and say he just realised he lost all his physics notes the day before the final exam…must be physics wizard…aunty su…how can i forget you…always  cheering me up with menthos…if youre not back yet gimme a kol..we’ll have that menthos soon…yoven…gonna miss you little sis…dun be so blur k…hopefuli you and your prince charming get together soon yeah,and thanks dear for your best wishes abut you know what lah…elton,johnny boy,chiayee,aunty jo,bobby,sabrina,ibby,rathi,hiba,claire,nat,…love all you guys…has been a great experience…hope we all get to meet some day yeah…

heard that there is more…the two latest friends i made this year turned out to be my best indeed…sara gurl and my dear pari pari…sarah thanx for al those encouragement and it was so good to see you cheerful and yippy the last few weeks…you know you shld fall sick more often…hahapari pari wld know what i mean..and lastly the question that my fellow Mufy people have been asking…Who’s pari pari and that other question…you’ll find out soon enough…

i m gonna miss the scene at the cafe at gaj’s corner and well the drinks at orange and all…oh yeah in case you people also wondering did i ever slap stare queen…i didnt…some of you were dight…not coz i dint dare but coz she’s not worth it…so those people who ever see the stare queen in the cafe or anywhere else even if you feel like slapping that irritating face,…its not worth it,besides she already has a flat nose to start with…

amir…had fun stealing that car the other day man…too bad because of me we had to return it…perhaps one day we’ll do it again wen i am a cop or something yeah i mean here its all the same rite..this lesson is one i wld never take with me!

generally it was a fun learning journey…this year…the first 20 years of my life is almost coming to and end and now begins a new journey of my life…and i’m glad i am never alone coz He is always there to guide me…people who have helped me and supported me whom i never got the chance to thank thanx alot…

hmm Gajaen is right now in the exam hall, doing his chem paper, and being as itchified, i jumped straight into the balled realm of Duntellya.

Ever heard the song ‘ironic’ by Alanis Morisette? ever paid close attention to the lyrics? there is quite abit of truth in it. You see, sometimes people say life is good , life is what you make it or you choose your own life. Yes its true, but no matter how much you think things are going great and everything is all smooth, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. As Alanis sings..

"Its like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife’

Or when you just need one little thing to make everything go the way u want it to?

‘ its like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife’

I have met many people who would do anything to be a perfectionist. they think that is the only way to be.. thats the the only way you can win the race of life. I know this, as i used to be a perfectionist as well; but the number of people i hurt on my way. It  just makes everything unworthy.

But when you look on the otherside, you realise that when when things go wrong, there is always something to catch your fall.. life is not unfair, neither is it cruel.

"And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up In your face”

after hearing that line. i realised, whats the  use of being a perfectionist? Because you can never go against life and make everything perfect. Only God is perfect. and if we are perfect as well.. we get to be exactly like GOD.. and as if hehe.

So its better to just go with the flow, enjoy the present. Make the most of what you have, take risk. savour the feeling of satisfaction. When you dont experience any difficulty or bumps, then you are not living life. I mean imagine eating ice cream everyday for everymeal.. sounds good at first, then you gonna get sick of it. so whenever things go wrong, just step back take a deep breath look beyond the darker patch of grass, you will see that the grass is DEFINITELY greener on the other side. If things dont happen the way you plan, then that isnt the way for you. I realised this a while ago, and no point fretting and having sleepless nights because once again, as Alanis sings;

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face.

Gajaen, thanks for helping me out like all the time hehe. and i must say, after having long chats with you, i realised all this. Good Luck!

-sarah-